Femininity - What will it take for me? HELP!!?

I think you should let your hair grow long again and put it in a ponytail for work. after work there is no reason you can't let your hair down and change into a dress. Just because you feel unfeminine at work does not mean you have to feel unfeminine all the time. I would change into a whole new outfit after work including feminine shoes like flats or high heels. I really hope one day you won't have to work. I am old fashioned in believing that women should stay at home, but I understand many women need to work these days.