Need ideas for my gag gift?

My family pes around an ugly ugly wallet, long story, and fills it with all sorts of wierd stuff. I just recieved it as a biker themed wallet filled with matches, a naked lady lighter, and other odds and ends. I am going to p it along as an old lady wallet and I need ideas of trinkets to put inside. So far I have come up with cat food coupons, so mismatched ons, and a shopping list with prunes, cat food, and depends. Thanks for your help